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1 >> Don't back up your database. After all, your disks
are RAID 5! Carmichael said that's a great way to get
security to escort you out the door. RAID 5 is a cool tool
unless you lose two disks or if there's some form of logical
corruption. 2 >> You're backing up the database every
single night. So don't bother exporting the data. Don't
bother if you just won the lottery. If you lost Big Game again,
export that data. Export it anyway.
3 >> Here's a good way to never get out of that Chevette:
Don't ever test the recovery features. After all, you don't want
to take the production system away from the users! You know
what that means -- you're going to find out your procedures
don't work long after Conan comes on the tube, but well before
Katie and Matt.
4 >> Monitoring schmonitoring! Why bother? Users will
loudly let you know about any problems. It's much more fun to
watch "The Osbournes" than to keep an eye on the system.
Don't bother to monitor and you can watch MTV all day, because
there won't be the hassle of a job to go to!
5 >> Only use cache hit ratios instead of wait events to
monitor performance. Cache hit ratios were fine on older
systems, but they're not as integral as they used to be. Which
brings us to a "bigger picture alert!" Carmichael noted
that one of the biggest general mistakes is thinking what you
might have learned on one product automatically applies to
subsequent upgrades. For example, you may know the ins and outs
of Version 6 of Oracle's database -- details that are totally
true and valid. But that doesn't mean those same details are
true on Versions 8 or 9. Evidently, truth is relative in IT!
And now we join our regularly scheduled "smaller picture."
6 >> Got a performance problem? Increase your shared pool.
Smack it with memory. Sometimes memory is more of a problem
than a panacea.
7 >> Don't ever change any of the defaults Oracle gives
you. After all, Larry and the gang know exactly what you need,
right? Wrong. As Carmichael pointed out, if Oracle thought
it knew exactly what you needed when you needed it, it wouldn't
let you change anything.
8 >> The tables have more than five extents? Recreate
them! Especially if you want to move back in with your
parents, like the slacker guy in the Holiday Inn commercials.
9 >> Index every single column in every
single table just in case -- you might need them. Sure, and
Arthur Andersen had no idea those shredders would actually
DESTROY those documents! Carmichael pointed out that the more
indexes you have, the more upkeep Oracle has to do. She said you
need to know why an index is justified.
10 >> Fix your space problems by turning autoextend on every
datafile in every tablespace. Fix your space problems like
that in every tablespace, and there may be a lot of space on
your table all right -- your dining room table.
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